S1317Rogue

A soft rain kisses the ground Passionate but sincere There are birds at the bath Gently nudging each other Soft wisps of a breeze Flow through the old trees You sit in front of me Staring deep into my eyes Loving my smile Knowing my secrets Loving who I am Not the facade most people see Looking past the mask I hide behind In the background comes the constant trickling sound A noble dated fountain pools And in it a reflection of a kiss

I dreamt about you again. Every time it’s different But the same. A slow color trickles down the walls of my mind Silently flooding the senses I can feel the hint of your breath upon my shoulders And the closeness of your body, Never touching mine. Like a perfume that lingers, Willing my thoughts to swoon at the light touch of scent. The smell of your cologne entices me And butterflies quickly form inside me My thoughts turn to ash, as I am Willing the words to be said but In a whisper they never come.

Nature is fading, Seasons are changing. It’s my first day without you. I’m having trouble understanding How two so in love can force themselves apart. Why it had to be this way, And if I can live another day… Only one who has no time can know. I want to hold you and feel the empty spaces fill again- In my arms and in my heart. It seems such a fitting though ironic thing, To grow apart as the air grows colder. I feel a bout of cynical thread itself through my head. You are the only man I have loved. I don’t want to go do things with other men, To stop thinking about you, And I almost don’t want to live,

All I want to do is break you Break your initiative down into pieces And make you feel some shard of remorse For what you’ve put me through Something like the rain coming When all you feel is anxiousness And your heart is free-falling Into the sky Lighting up the smog Revealing the grime and charred memories Finding all the cracks and gaping holes Looking through With the eyes of fire Do you want to See what I see Blackened Feel what I feel Disgust Hear what you say Empty hollow lies

My slight smile hints at the notion That all I want to do is be happy The pain etched in my eyes Shows all I can feel is the anguish inside Confused to battering Uncertain and not accused It wasn’t me who turned away And it’s been said it’s not my fault There’s a certain part of me That wants to break down and cry But tears never come So many years I’ve trained myself not to cry, But the moment I want to, The moment I need to, I can’t

Release my thoughts Watch them slip away Out into the watery abyss I call my heart That silent black hole Not untouched by a frail existence Falling limp, feel like I’m turning into lifelessness Turning into fire Broken but not visible The eye of secrets and a touch Lost in the heart of a child and I won’t give in, so hard to let go I can’t open up, so hard to breathe in Hope trapped inside Cupped in two tiny hands and I’m lost somewhere within Yes I’ve lived shattered inside, and so afraid to say it Afraid to admit it But not today.